curry anyone??

        depression depression…that is what ive been feeling eversince i came back to india…so strong on the outside but behind this mask im putting on is one gal crying and no one knows and no one cares…is it merely because im just feeling homesick or is it because i left kuching in the knowledge that i wont be seeing raymond again for the next 5 yrs or so???and in the knowledge that when i come back for my next holiday,things will not be the same anymore…and i realize that i have nothing to look foward to in holidays besides being in the comfort of my own home and all the glorious food i will have…
      i’ve never felt this lonely in such a long time…its like there is a void in my life and suddenly things around me are sooo quiet….sumtimes it feels like inside me im screaming sooo loud but no one can hear me…
     lastnite i dreamt of him again…and this is the 2nd time dreaming of him in the span of one week…i sumtimes really wish that i could go back time and change the way things are…all i could do now is to taste the fear and the pain of letting go someone sooo dear to me….everything was sooo perfect when he was still mine but now everything seems to be crashing down…even more now after meeting him…i guess in my heart he will always be the one…its like a movie,playing in my heart and mind over and over again…the memories of his smile and his laugh and the times we had together…everynight as i close my eyes i  can feel his embrace…he has become a ghost  haunting me …how i wish all these would come to an end to put a stop to all  my misery but yet  i dont want it to go for this is the closest i can get to him now…that is in my dreams…sometimes i am so sure that one day he will be mine again…and during that time i will know for sure that he is the one for me…

my love letter for no one….

Once in a while
You are on my mind
I think about the days that we had
And i truly pray that it will all come back to me
If only you know
Every moment in time
love lingers in my heart
just like a memory
This is how i long here to be
with you once more

U will always gonna be the one
and you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
oh dont say no
You will always gonna be the one
In my life
So true I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
My FIRST LOVE

Once in a while
You are in my dreams
I can feel the warmth of your embrace
And I,
pray that one night you’ll come back to me
If only you know
Every moment in time
love lingers on my heart
Just like a memory
This is how i long here to be with you
once more

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How i wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
plese dont say no
Now and forever
You are still the one in my heart
So true
I believe i will never find somebody like you
my FIRST LOVE