time goes by so fast
Friday, December 16th, 2005song on laptop: wake me up when September ends by greenday
It really overwhelms me that we are heading towards Christmas and toward the new year…and its and its bye bye 2005..freaks me out sometimes…i remember that during this time last year i was….what ah???geee….i cant remember lah…hmmm….maybe I’m really getting old…all i could remember was the Christmas i had together with Raymond’s family in kl…ha ha…and the trip to genting…
anyways,looks like I’m back home to kuching again…3 1/2 months in India sure passed real real fast!!maybe coz I’ve been sooo busy trying to catch up in my studies…this is what u get when u r too lazy and then try to cramp in everything last minute…and i found out that last minute studying is not applicable for medic school anymore…everyone is getting distinction…and there i am,can only be contented with my pass…so i guess i should learn fr my mistakes???isnt that what naturally happens when we encounter the same problem??…i was sooo determined to study when i come back home and i actually brought my anatomy book…but up til now,that book has been staring at me and i have not touched it yet…hehe…i wont be suprised if the book starts collecting dust!!ok ok…i wil try at least read one page or two…if not sia sia only i bring back…gosh…im so lazy!!!sumone plz smack me!!
yesterday i met raymond after almost a year??well…its sure good to see him again…but sumhow,at the back of my head…how i wish we never met…coz my heart just hurt so much esp after we said our goodbyes…it hurts coz there will never be anything between us again…half of the time he wasnt even looking at me….half of the time i wish he will be truthful with his feelings,wondering if he still have feelings for me…i noe this is non of my business to know but i really want to know if he feels like the way i do towards him…if he still loves me…sigh…being in love does it means to wait for him no matter how painful it is…does it means to hope that he is happy in everything he does…does it means being happy even when u r not getting anything back in return in the relationship??does it means to let him go for the good of his welfare??sigh…i tot im strong but looks like im not….
